What's Happened to Plates?

I eat my dinner off a plate at home.Why? Because plates are specifically designed for this purpose—and they do the job well.

They’re slightly recessed, meaning that if you’ve prepared something a little wet—like a succulent piece of meat or anything with a sauce—it’s unlikely to start seeping onto the table, tray, or (if you must) your lap.

The history of the dinner plate is long and, frankly, quite boring. So I won’t go into too much detail. But basically, it all began with humans eating off large, presumably sturdy leaves. Then came slabs of wood and chunks of rock, until finally, after much trial and error, the circular ceramic wonder was born.

To go back to eating off leaves, wood, or rocks would be a regression, wouldn’t it? That sort of thing is surely in the past. Surely we’re better than that now.

You’d be forgiven for thinking so. But unfortunately, that’s not the case.Walk into almost any pub these days and you’ll find your burger served on a wooden chopping board or a piece of old slate. It’s just inevitable.

Why is this happening? What happened to proper plating? Has this step in the serving process been quietly scrapped? And—seriously—who gave permission? I think we need to have a word.

Burgers, in particular, are the kind of food you want to eat from a plate—especially now that the trend is to stack them with so many toppings, it’s physically impossible to pick one up and aim it mouthward, as our forefathers once did.

And even if you manage to squash it down, open wide, and take a bite, 80% of the contents are going to fall out. There’s really no choice these days but to deconstruct the burger and attack it with a knife and fork.

Trying to do this on a chopping board, however, just means everything ends up everywhere. Pickles fly in all directions, meat juices seep off the edge onto the table, the tomato takes up too much space and weeps all over.Absolutely nothing is safe from being spilt.

And where exactly are you meant to put the ketchup?

As if that’s not bad enough, wooden boards are notoriously hard to clean. So—ridiculously—you’re often served your food on a thin layer of paper meant to make the dishwasher’s job easier.

But that paper gets sliced up along with the food, ends up on your fork, and eventually in your mouth. You’re eating paper.

Who wants this? How is this better?

“It’s about the aesthetic,” I’m told. “It looks rustic, it adds value.”

Nonsense. It looks like an unfinished job. By all means, assemble the burger on the chopping board—but finish it properly. Pop it on a plate.

Otherwise, you might as well serve the food directly on the table. It’ll end up there anyway. Save everyone the hassle!

“Did you order the chilli and rice, sir? Very good—shall I just spoon it straight onto the table, or would you prefer it in your lap?”

And don’t get me started on the serving of six chips in a small silver bucket.